Trying to make something of yourself in the music or creative industry is really very hard. Everyone who is trying to make it or has made it in some way or other will tell you that it is very difficult. That it will take a lot of hard work and perseverance. The music industry, whether you are aiming for stardom and paparazzi or smaller time gigging and performing, will still require a lot of effort, dedication and time. I found at the end of last year that I wanted to perform, I felt like vocally I was ready to make a start at gigging and making a singing name for myself. However, I find now that I am not really ready OR that I do want the same things as I did before. (I was presented with an opportunity to try something different and it hasn't worked out).
At the beginning of this year, I was presented with an opportunity to be in a duo. This duo is not like others. Mostly because it only comprises with a drummer and singer. The rest of the music is provided by a midi track. Over the last couple of months, it has been difficult for us to really get going or feel like it is working. I was torn between thinking that it could work and missing what I used to do, being Musical Theatre and not singing African style songs. But I wanted to persevere with this duo because I felt like I had to. I needed to prove to myself that I needed to do this to show that I could. That I could take it seriously. I learn now that this doesn't work if your heart isn't truly in it.
Also, when I decided I wanted to concentrate on music more this year, I was going to take a year off uni. But with other things not going to plan like my HUGE out of proportion travel plans, saving up money for said trip, I wasn't looking at the bigger picture and working out what can I do now, at this moment. I decided to go back to uni and then the priorities change. Music isn't as important as handing in assignments and being able to turn up to classes. For me, music is my soul and urban planning is my intellect.
So back track to yesterday. I am on a boat for Naomi's 21st. I get an sms from my drummer saying:
"Hey Teagan (grr that he spelt my name wrong after so long.) as of now, this duo is over. Will."
My first thought was, "boy this sounds like a break up", which it is in a way. Mostly, I was pissed off at the way he broke this duo up. He didn't have the decency to call me, tell me in person even. The guy is over forty and he isn't mature enough to do it properly. I don't want to go into how difficult this guy is to work with because I know with all my life changes I have been difficult to work with too. But one minute he pressures me that we need to start gigging NOW and then says that he can't and just wants to rehearse and then pressures me again. It is just not worth that much.
Three weeks ago, I told him, reluctantly, that I didn't think I was the best person for what he wanted. I want to finish uni first. And it wasn't fair on him to continue etc. That day was supposed to be our last rehearsal. I turn up and he convinces me that since we are almost ready to gig I should stay. Then last night was the: you know what, fuck it. You don't respect me or what we are doing so it is over. GAH!! So frustrating.
I am relieved that I don't have to think about this anymore. But I do want to say that I have learn A LOT from this guy. He knows so much about music, sound, sound equipment. And most importantly, has made me aware of what it is to be professional, to ask the right questions when opportunities come along. These are invaluable things to know and I know that I will be more prepared for future endeavors.
The best thing is that I realised how much I miss performing in Musical Theatre. I reckon now that I would be more than content to performing in amateur or semi pro musicals for a long time. I have an audition for a Musical on Monday for a comedic role. And I could audition for Fame next semester, even though I don't really like the musical.
The question remains for the rest of this year and the rest of my life, is how am I going to incorporate my urban planning and more importantly my singing/performing in to my life that is manageable?
Retrospect is such a wonderful thing.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Darling Tegs,
First of all i think you're going to be much better off without this loser drummer guy, no matter what he may or may not have taught you (though i'm betting most of what you learnt was by not following his bad example).
Secondly you need to de-stress about life-long goals, singing is what you love and what you have a talent for therefore you will always find a way to incorperate it in your life. As for urban planning, well think of it as a means to supporting your true passion - with an urban planning job you could totally fund your musical life.
What's the musical you're auditioning for? I love musicals so chances are i know it and if you get in i'm totally going to come see you perform, and i'll of course bring a posse.
Kisses, L.
yay! My first comment! w00t!
aww leah you are such a sweetheart. Thank you for your comments. I had a good long chat with Will and it was good. He is still a good guy but we both are not in the right place to commit 200% to this duo. This musical you won't know because my friend wrote everything for it. He is putting it on for two weeks in Mudfest. But I think I will audition for Fame, maybe, which will be in on in week 11 of second sem. I miss being in musicals. I think I want to try for other musical companies and see how I go with that.
teegs
Hey Teegs,
Coffee today was fun! I still want to see this original musical if you're in it so be sure to give me the deets when that happens.
This comment was really just to say goodluck for the audition so: good luck!
Kisses, L.
Post a Comment